The Big Book tells us that, as alcoholics, we have an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind. For many of us, learning this information from a medical doctor (Dr. Silkworth - one of the great friends of Alcoholics Anonymous in it's early years) was a comforting discovery. It was a relief to know that we were not merely weaklings who could not use "will power" to resist drinking (or compulsively eating, gambling, spending, interfering in others's lives, etc.). We have a bona fide allergy that condemns us to act out in our addiction against our will.
When I was able to understand that I had a physical allergy to alcohol, sugar and grain, I felt a huge amount of shame was instantly lifted. I no longer felt like a failure when it came to abstaining from addictive behavior. I felt more like a person who had not yet learned to manage an illness. Today I accept the fact that I have a condition that needs to be managed on a daily basis. And because my willingness to manage my addiction is not fueled by shame, I am not burdened with a negative image of myself. I am a person with a wide array of challenges and gifts, all of which can be managed with the help of my Higher Power and my fellows.
If you are addicted to a substance, have you come to understand the physical nature of your addiction? If your addiction is behavioral (e.g., gambling) are you able to understand the chemical reaction your brain has when you act out in your addiction? Do you recognize that your brain produces "feel good" chemicals that are far more powerful than heroin and that you have become physically addicted to that chemical rush? Can you let go of shame about your addiction and dwell in the positivity of recovery?
